Pennies for the Homeless

[Doug approaching the southeast corner of Yonge and Bloor from the South]

:Pennies for the Homeless?!

D: What do you need, I'll get you something?

:A couple of dollars.

D: I'll get you a hamburger or coffee or something.

:But they might be closed, they closed at eight.

D: there's McDonalds or coffee shops that are always open right there.

:okay. let's see. they close at eight sometimes


[walking into Harvey's, one of a chain of fastfood burger joints]

D: what do you want to get?

:I'll have a hamburger with everything on it and a small coke


[D: gets in line while :sets up at a table nearby]
D [with the burgers and a pepsi, starting to sit]: oh, I'll get a straw for you.

:don't worry about it

D: so what's your name?

:Iranee

D: Ira
I [interrupting]: Iranee, it's the masculine form of Irene.

D: Iraneus is my favorite theologian, one of my favorite theologians.

I: ah, most people don't know it ...

D: so what brought you to Toronto [guessing from Montreal by the name and the accent]

I: The two race tracks. They're the best in the world.

D: ahhh

I: If someone tells you races are fixed they don't know anything. It's not fixed. It's all logical. The riders can look at the lineup and tell you if they are going to win or not ... [more on horseracing] ... So what do you do in Toronto?

D: I just got a new job. Pastor. Started last week.

I: Where?

D: It's with the Mennonite Central Committee. Street Pastor. They have me starting with Sanctuary. Right up the street here, you probably know them.

I: A good place. They do good work for the homeless. I do the races ... I just stay out doors for the winter. Like the fresh air.

D:Yeah

I [launching into a long, long lesson on picking winners]: ... There are four kinds of horses: Frontrunners, Closers, Man-of-War (they can do both), and followers ...

D: Yeah

I [more on the lesson]: ... At the track 90 percent of people lose, 9% break even, 1% win. It's not fixed though. You gotta be smart. Study hard.

D: So are you in the 9% or the 1%.

I: 1%

[I: pauses, thinks for a second]. I just hurt my shoulder, my hand, gotta borrow money from my friend. You know.

D: Yeah.

I: [launches into another soliliquoy, this time on the track's superiority] ... best in the world ...

D: Better than Del Mar, I'm from Southern California.

I: Oh yeah ... [more on the track, now on its relation to picking the horses]

D [having finished his hamburger, cleans his place and siezes on a break in the lesson]: Gotta go, told my wife I'd be home by 8:30 and I'm late already.

I: But you learned something didn't you?

D: Yeah, if I ever go to the track ... [mutters something about not having enough knowledge yet as he heads toward the trash can]

I: Could teach you everything I know in a month and a half.

D: I'll probably see you again since I'll be at Sanctuary.

[D: heads out the door and makes mental note: next time I'll sieze control of the conversation at the start. It'll be all about Iraneus' recapitulatory Christology and political demonology]